Impasse
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Posted:Jul 16, 2011 4:59 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 6:05 am 14527 Views
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Forbidden tryst in the foggiest of night
The moans reached far beyond the weak light
Of two smoldering beacons of fire within
In cadence with their own hearts beatin'...
Amidst the stars, the moon hide and shies
The night owls and cicadas hues and cries
Suddenly, a shadow moved among the cleave
A dejected woman whose soul conceive...
Struck by guilt, the man amended
She looked away, sadly pretended
Conveyed one's thought of one over him
The subtle parade of boast in a whim...
His hand reached out to the one he felt
The girl took flight and abruptly dealt
The pain that arose from the heart of pure
In silence, a parting glance swept and endure...
Goodbye to love, losing as well
Never to use emotions , encase it in a shell
Someday soon, a truthful heart comes along
The beat and echoes will be mine so long...
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Raising Peter Pan
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Posted:Jul 7, 2011 7:23 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:01 pm 14698 Views
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What will it take to be a good mom? When do you stop being one? From the time you conceived them in your womb 'til your last breath, you never cease to be a mother..and who will judge the extent and deepness of your love to your /s? Nobody should.
T'was pleasure and pride, watching them grow to be the finest person that they can be. Their mischievous youth flashed before your eyes - changing diapers, teething, first step, first syllables, calling you "mama". Every step of the way, helping with their homeworks, watching their plays, supporting each games they're into, urging, coaching for bigger games ahead.
Remembering your reminders about love, in entering a relationship, the pains of breaking - up, getting over dissappointments and hurts. It's not easy being a mother, so, no need to bother being the best, just be there! You can guide, push, pull, angry when need be, laugh, cry but dont get in their way.
Let them love and learn, cry and feel. Let them get hurt to make them brave. Let them depend and yet be independent. Let them think and distinguish right from wrong. Let them work and find their goals. Let them play, oh yes, play..for there will always be the within oneself, the that never grow...
For my . It's not only about me, its also finding them a hero.
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Soliloquy
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Posted:Jul 2, 2011 3:10 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 6:05 am 14692 Views
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A silhouette passed before my eyes
"Going for a walk?" I asked the darkness
"Yes, to gather thoughts I've lost"
Came the reply with sadness.
"Why bring back that gone about?
It's no longer for us to hold,
Think of things that yet to come
That you can better a thousand fold."
"I never meant it to return,
nor to hold on to in any kind
I'll just pick up some points
maybe lessons then leave it all behind."
"I wonder why you're sad doing this?
Why not welcome a new beginning with grace?
After all, we're in the same quest
A shot at our own happiness.
"Let go upon your heart and soul
On best wings and on solid ground
Together we'll soar up high
As we go through another round."
"For your life is also mine
You and I are one......"
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4
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Memories of Vegas
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Posted:Jun 24, 2011 6:44 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:00 pm 15014 Views
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Cirque du Soleil. Varekai. Words triggered something in my memory, a place called Las Vegas.
Driving 5 hours at I-15 from LA, through the vast desert of the Mojave. 30 minutes away from the strip, you'll pass by Primm, Nevada where they already have hotel casinos such as Buffallo Bill, Whiskey Pete, Primm Valley, sort of welcoming committee? On the right side, the fashion outlets of Nevada, which reminds you to shop before gambling money away in Vegas. (edited? )
The first on the strip, left side is the Mandalay Bay (they have real live sharks there), Luxor - guarded by a great sphinx, Excalibur - looks like a fairy tale castle. McCarran airport on the right then Tropicana, MGM..Further up lining both side of the streets, Rio, Paris, Monte Carlo, Mirage, Bally's, Flamingo, Caesar's Palace, Venetian etc... Stratosphere at the tail. If you have a penchant for small cozy casinos, try downtown. You can walk the covered shopway enter Golden Nugget, out to 4Queens passed Lady Luck and the Plaza, with less effort on both feet.
One of my favorite casino is way off the strip, along Boulder and Nellis - Sam's Town. I like its natural setting, a wolf hounding (pseudo) atop a stone near the mystic cascading falls. Even the buffet was glorious. Lucky me, I got to stay in different casino hotel, everytime we're off to Vegas. My xhub being a member of the "One" club, a gambler through and through (I dont mind, its part of the package). What I liked best out of his membership was getting a room for less than a $100 anytime. So I got to taste MGM, Treasure Island, Caesar's Palace, Mirage, almost half the lot.
Cirque du Soleil. Circus of the Sun. We've watched Zumanity at New York2, Mystere' at the Treasure Island. Had we stayed for another night, "O" at the Bellagio was the next, grand slam, you might say. When we came back, I lost the streak, we've seen Sigfried and Roy show at the Mirage instead, before the accident with the tiger. Anyway, there are so many shows that you would want to watch, makes you crave for more. Some are free entertainment like pirates show at the TI, the dancing fountains of the Bellagio, lights effects at the Mirage, the canal and the gondola at the Venetian, clowns and funfare at the midway court of the Circus2 and at the Tropicana... so much to see and discover, so little time. The entertainment capital of the world, cheers to that. Long live Las Vegas!
Everything is possible at the desert paradise. You can leave your secrets behind, anyway, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
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Happy Father's day!
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Posted:Jun 19, 2011 3:45 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:00 pm 14352 Views
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Tatay! Isn't that the most sweetest thing you can call a father? Never out of tune when you ask for some permission to go out on a date, beg for a little additional allowance, or simply raising a point when being scolded.
I've always been a daddy's girl, having 2 brothers as siblings, and the eldest of three.I always get what i want with Tatay provided it's within means and border. I also get my share of spanking when, he's not in the mood, lost money in gambling, or well, yeah, drunk. What can one do? Tatay's not perfect, and he seems to have the worst vices. He's not that bad at all, he can be sweet to nanay and to us , a very intelligent man, thoughtful...
I cannot tell all of my father's 65 yrs on earth, it will take a lifetime, my own. Yeah, he's now at peace, exchanging jokes and anecdotes up above. We had a misunderstanding so great, nearly cost father - relationship. A year before he died, I made peace with him, the noblest thing i've ever done to date. If i hadn't done so, my conscience will forever bug me.
What's half of me now is from my father, however, bad or good i turned out to be. While he's living, i didnt have the chance to tell how i appreciate and love him, maybe he can hear my thoughts...
Happy Father's day Tatay! I'm missing you.....
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In Memoriam
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Posted:Jun 17, 2011 3:22 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 10:00 pm 14365 Views
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Come closer...
Closer to where i am.
Let me hear your footsteps near.
Darkness looms...
Or is it only here?
Let me see or is it my doom?
Help me move...
Confine and restless,
Once more, one last shove.
Am I meant to be here?
So cold and damp, but then
Nothing else to bear...
Finally, I surmise,
I let myself float...
Nirvana! my final bliss..
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For Angel
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Posted:Jun 11, 2011 3:35 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 6:00 am 14399 Views
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Old habits die hard, maybe, thats why i'm still in love with you. For almost half of my life, you were there. No one else comes close to my mind, heart, body and soul like you did. Two decades of a lifetime, my treasured past, the fondest memories yet for my old age. We had a nice life together didn't we? But forever's the destiny we cant fulfill, our ways parted. You gave me enough though, i got my precious gems. They reminded me so much of you.
"Life ain't always beautiful but it's an exciting ride." True, Life ain't always good and smooth sailing, there were times of failures, rough roads and trials. Through it all, we rode up the waves and came out of it. Sure enough, there were scratches and wounds but we used it as weapons for the coming tides and bigger blows.
Till the shadow of uncertainty haunted us, the unfathomable fear that was our foe. I tried so hard to hold unto you, to cling to "us." The stronger force of distrust and undefined discontentment took me away. You lost me. At times you needed me the most, when you're sick and in pain, I wasn't there. When you need to talk or just hold hands, I wasn't there. Exactly my sentiments, you weren't there for me too. I had moments of despair, at times I felt I couldn't carry on, my burdens were too heavy on my shoulders, you weren't there. I tried to reach out for you, instead, I'd touched an empty space, a vast nothingness. I lost you.
I've a good life, still on it. I wonder at nights if I made the right choice. Wondering if you're happy, at peace now without me? I shall know. Life's a cornucopia of wonderment and exactment, happiness and loneliness, exciting and boring, meaningful and empty, a prism of colors. There's so much more to learn and discover but I will never learn to forget you. In the crossroad of my life, I took the road less traveled.
My Angel, we'll be flying together again someday, up among the clouds and stars, way beyond the reach of mortality. But I hope not too soon...
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Anatomy of a broken heart
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Posted:Jun 4, 2011 2:33 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 9:59 pm 15156 Views
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"Hey stranger!", thats what i always said to friends or ex-bfs or merely an acquaintance, in response to texts, emails or even a nod when you chance upon them somewhere. People you hate or love or just a wallpaper of your past. Safest way to say that you missed them without exposing the jugular ha ha ha..
My first ever date, well, yeah from a dating site was a guy who cant be named, i called him "chef" anyway, for obvious reason, he loves to cook. We met once, in communication for a couple o' months. Along the way, I've grown fond of him to the point of getting in love. What can I do? The guy's lovable, so sweet and witty. I'm a very realistic but fatalist sort of gal. If its meant to be, it will be, that sort of thing. Eventually, we lost touch. I cried over him, somethings are not meant to be. Life goes on.
Recently, we had a chance to chat for a while and then talking and texting for some days, decided to meet again. Its like we never lost track of each other. He still can excites me with his stories and corny jokes, its so nice being 16 again.Like those times when you're ready to fall in love. The heart is the only organ in the body that never grows old. That same day we supposed to meet, I went to Antipolo church and asked for guidance from the Our Lady of peace and good voyage. A sign if he's the one for me. While waiting for him in our meeting place, I texted him if he's coming, no reply. After an hour, I texted him again to say that i was beat and bushed, tired and i just wanted to go home and at the end of my message "thank you". Waiting for him to say something, at least, some sorry excuses, nada. He never texted me back. That last word was really for me.
"Thank you" for the bungled meet up, for putting an end to my hopes, free for any "what ifs?." One good thing i realized is that, I'm a far stronger person now than I ever was. It would take so much than a mere lovelost for me to break down a barrier, unconsciously, i built upon myself. I needed a closure so I can move on, I've put an ending to this unfortunate love story. Goodbye B.! Goodluck.
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Love songs and singers
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Posted:May 29, 2011 6:06 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 6:13 am 14673 Views
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I wanted to write but for some reasons, cant think of a topic not posted here already. Everything about love, well, yeah, the most interesting word there is. Love, love.. everywhere..Finding and losing love, letting go and fighting for it, pain and happiness, the beginning and ending, alpha and omega, eros and thanatos..Who could say otherwise? Love is life and death.
In youtube, love is also the universal maxim. Andy William's "Love story", my heart went out to Oliver (Ryan O'neill) when Jenny (Ali McGraw)died. Who could forget his famous line "Love is never having to say you're sorry..." I adored Jose Feliciano as he belted out the "Love comes from the most unexpected places." Jim Photoglo even said that how he can possibly go on "When love is gone." Who can ever forget Junior's "Its only love", crying over someone that cannot love him back. Oh yeah, even rockers love to sing love. Freddie Mercury's "Love of my life" that became my anthem when i was nursing a broken heart way back in my early college life. Who cant stop imitating Pete's falsettoes in Nazareth's "Love hurts". The Foreigner's "I want to know what love is?" and Mariah joining the search. I'll make it recent. How about Amy Winehouse's "Love is a losing game?" Can you believe that? That Amy girl can sing well, regardless of her personal issues. For the young generations, Justin Bieber's version of "Love me." A new spunk for an old song. Nice.
My first movie with my (X)husband was "The bodyguard", Whitney Houston starring and singing the song "I will always love you." Really? Maybe, i live up to the song, I still love my xhub in one corner of my heart. After that failed one, i thought of Eric Carmen's "I'm through with love", i survived the pain, looking forward to Diana Krall's "The look of love," for her hubby Elvis Costello, mine is soon to come.
A lot of beautiful love songs coz love is. 1Corinthians 13..
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love....
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On Marriage
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Posted:May 24, 2011 6:23 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2013 9:58 pm 14776 Views
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Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of heaven dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shares of
your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the
same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each
one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone thought they
quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each
other's shadow.
Kahlil Gibran
Note: I came across this verses in one of my bookquests at Booksale. Had i known this poem earlier, i wouldnt be single now, or things might have been better. Either way, no regrets. Sometimes you have to do the things you did. There are no mistakes, only lessons of life. Learn from it...
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